Homework Strategies Part 2

So you got your homework bin all set up, right? If not, read the previous post.

Here are some more tips that I do with my kids to make getting their homework done less of a battle each night.

First, it is not a requirement that they get their homework done as soon as they get home before they can do anything else. Yes, I know. That's a common rule among parents. Get it done and over with, right? But I know how I feel after a long day at work. The last thing I want to do when I get home is go right back to work-related tasks. School is like a day at work for kids. Just like me, kids need some decompression time. So, I give them about 30 - 45 minutes of play and snack time before getting them going on homework.

Once the "chill out" time is done, all homework and piano practice need to be completed before the TV comes back on or playtime starts again. On days when there are extra-curricular activities the same rule still applies. My kids are learning that the activities they've chosen may cause nighttime playtime to be limited. I say they're learning this because they still try protesting sometimes when a late soccer practice leads to late dinner which leads to getting homework completed right when it's time to start getting ready for bed meaning no TV or playtime that night. On days like this, my kids can always choose to shorten their down time after school and get going on their homework right away to allow for more playtime later. This is always a choice for them. I never require it except for the rare situation when I know there will not be time to do homework later if they don't get started right away.

When it's time to get going on homework, we pull out the homework bin, their assignments and we all get to work. That's right. I stay involved and do their homework with them. That's probably the biggest factor in our success. I don't do the work for them. I ask questions and have them "teach" me what they are supposed to do. And sometimes I have them do several problems or pieces of their work by themselves and then I check it over. But I view homework time as family time. I stay in the room with them (and my husband, too when he's here), helping them along until homework is completed.

I work with many parents who want their kids to get going on homework on their own so they can get back to doing whatever they were doing or disappear into the kitchen to make dinner. Many parents complain that the battles with their kids are usually over getting their kids to "go do" their homework and are frustrated that every time they walk back into the room, their kids aren't doing their work, are messing around, or playing. Parents are frustrated with the attention getting behaviors such as the melt downs, the "I can't do this", and the sibling battles, all behaviors designed to get you back into the room. By staying in the room and involved to begin with, many if not all of these behaviors get eliminated.

Here's why I encourage parents to do this even with their Jr. High and High School students. First, once school starts, the amount of time we get to see and interact with our kids greatly decreases. During the week, I see my kids about five hours total each day, and that's on the days that they don't have piano, soccer practice or swimming. And whether our kids admit it to us or not, they miss us during the day, too. Children desire attention from their parents. Yes, even those older kiddos. Since homework is inevitable and unavoidable, I first view homework as an opportunity to spend time with my kids. Being a great parent is not always convenient from my perspective. I agree that it is a pain to juggle getting dinner together or my baby cared for while helping my two older kids with their homework. But I try to figure out the multi-tasking because it is important for me to spend time with the kids I haven't seen all day however I can.

Second, and most obviously, by staying involved in their homework I am able to stay aware of what they are doing in school and how well they are doing academically. I can be a better support to my child's learning when I know the topics they're covering and the areas they need to keep practicing.

There have been a couple times so far that my kids have not completed their homework despite all I have tried to do to set them up for success (admittedly, we are only in our second year of doing homework. I know the incidences will most likely increase over the years to come). In these cases, they get sent to school without their homework done and must explain to their teacher why this happened. Literally, they have to explain to their teacher why they didn't do their homework. I follow up with the teacher to make sure it was done and support any natural consequences that come from the teacher for not having homework turned in.

By staying consistent with our homework routine and expectations, homework time goes smoothly. While my kids often don't enjoy having to do more schoolwork at home, they do enjoy the attention and time they get from me and my husband during this time.

This topic usually brings up lots of frustrations and questions. What questions do you have? What's working and not working for you? Let me know by commenting below and let's discuss possible solutions.

Homework Success Strategy Part 1

Last week I came home with a big plastic bin full of office supplies. But these weren't just any office supplies. They consisted of green scissors and a blue tape dispenser and glittery pencils. In my bag I had all the needed supplies for a homework bin.

Putting together a homework supply bin for my kids accomplishes several things:

1. Eliminates the extra time spent looking for a pencil, paper, scissors and any other item needed to complete that day's homework assignment


2. By providing fun supplies (see my examples below) it makes doing homework a bit more enjoyable. Think about it. Don't you enjoy writing so much more with a nice pen and special paper?


3. Helps set the tone for doing homework. Getting out their special supplies is like putting on your work clothes.


4. Sends a message to your kids that their school work is important enough in your home that it's worth spending time and money to ensure that they're set up for homework success.


5. Allows you to buy some of the fun school supplies you didn't buy for school because they weren't on the supply list (when did school supply lists get so boring?).

Here's what I included in our homework bin.

• glittery #2 pencils in various colors


• electric pencil sharpener


• colored stapler for stapling falling apart packets and multi-page assignments


• glue and glue sticks


• colored scissors


• cool tape dispenser for healing all the inevitable rips and tears


• neon bend-y ruler


• floppy flexible solar-powered calculator


• drawing paper


• lined paper

Then I bought one of those clear view plastic storage drawers to put it all in. The whole thing cost me about $50. You could easily spend less depending on what you already have in stock at home and what you feel they need in their bin. We already had plenty of crayons at home, so I chose not to buy more of these. I later added the crayons from home to the bin for homework use.

If possible, don't assume you can multi-use an item. For example, just because you have a pair of scissors in the kitchen drawer doesn't mean you don't need to buy a pair of scissors for the homework bin. Remember that one of the things we're trying to accomplish is the elimination of looking around the house for supplies. You also don't want to create a potential conflict with your child when they put those scissors in their homework bin instead of back in the kitchen drawer.

Keep all homework stuff in one place, household items in another. This also means, do not try to sneak into the homework bin when you're looking for some scissors and tape to wrap a present. Again, avoid the conflict that can occur when your kids need their materials for that special project and come to find out their scissors are missing and their tape is almost gone.

While I don't have my kids begging me to race home so they can get right to their homework, they are very excited about their materials and feel very special to have their own important bin of fun supplies just for doing homework. It has made doing homework a bit more enjoyable for them. I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually. But the many benefits of having the bin will still continue throughout the year.

Homework bins are a great way to make your family's homework experience successful. Next time I will share with you some other homework success strategies that have worked for us.

Money Well Spent

Five minutes. Not very long. But five minutes of pure joy. For five minutes your child is nothing but happy and free. The largest smile spread across their face. Giggles and other gleeful noises that you hardly ever hear in any other circumstance come out of their mouths. To top it off, their sheer joy overflows into you. For five minutes, you join in your child's happiness. You laugh like you haven't laughed in a long time, and you smile so big and for so long that your face actually hurts at the end of it. And if that wasn't enough, it's not just an experience for you and your child, but your whole family. Your spouse is beside you having the same experience, and your other children are jumping up and down with excitement, too. The experience only lasts five minutes. But it's wonderful. How much is that experience worth? How much would you pay for it?

Kids are quick to want to spend money on just about anything. One minute they just got to have that sparkly bouncy ball. Another minute they want some cheap plastic toy that you know will get played with once or twice. They totally think spending $5 to jump in a jumpy castle is totally worth it. In contrast, I am slow to spend money. I think about how much money is being spent each day. When I do go to spend money, I weigh the value of the item with the cost. I try to find good deals on good quality. Above all, I want my kids to understand the value of money and to not have a sense of entitlement.

But there it was. The trampoline and the bungee chords. Both my kids' eyes got wide and I knew what was coming. Of course it's what they sooooooo wanted to do. Next came the "please, Mom can we do it?" I knew the cost to jump a few minutes extra high on a trampoline was probably going to be ridiculous, but I said I would at least see how much tickets were. Ten dollars a ticket. $20 for both my kids to jump on a trampoline. My immediate reaction was no. It did look like a lot of fun, but I did not think that was the best use of money. My kids could tell that they were probably not going to get to do it. I could see their acceptance of this as they settled for watching other kids jump instead, imagining what it must be like.

Then my husband called the kids over. He pulled out his wallet and gave them each $20. He explained to them that when he went on family vacations as a little boy, his dad would give him and his sister $20 to spend however they want. He wanted to continue that tradition with his kids. But he warned them that when their money was gone, it was gone, so choose wisely how they spend it.

He had barely completed his speech when they both blurted out, "We want to do the trampoline!" I wanted to continue the lecture about choosing wisely how to spend your money, but my husband stopped me reminding me that it was now their money and they can spend it how they want. I'm blessed to have my husband. He's a great dad and helped me remember that letting them learn how to spend money on their own is good parenting, too.

My kids, having excitedly purchased their tickets stepped up to take their turn on the trampoline. Nate went first.

Listen carefully. Can you hear the high-pitched "WEEEE" with every jump?

Isabella went next. She's more of a daredevil than her brother and wanted to make the most of her experience. You see her here trying out flipping. What you don't see is her later being a goofball and trying out different poses each time she flew into the sky. She had all of us laughing hysterically.

But if you can, watch the videos again and listen to my husband and me. We're having a blast, too. In fact, when we were reflecting on our favorite thing we did all weekend, we both picked watching the kids on the trampoline. Who knew?

I learned a valuable lesson this weekend. I learned to not be so quick to dismiss a potential opportunity for my kids to experience something fun. I'm not saying that I should instead let my kids do every fun thing that catches their eye. And I'm not saying that I always have to spend money to allow my kids to experience joy. But I realized that sometimes it is worth the money to allow my kids to experience something exciting and new. When I spend most of my time trying to watch how our money gets spent, it's easy to forget this.

I have to admit that we were so excited when the next day, both kids wanted to spend their last $10 to jump again. Because I was wrong. The $10 per ticket to jump extra high on a trampoline was a good use of money. In reality, it was a great deal. Each ticket provided an amazing super-fun experience that will remain a great family memory for 4 people (and a baby. Samantha got a kick out of all the excitement, too).

$40 was spent in all to jump on a trampoline. But it was definitely $40 well spent.

Isabella, day 2

Barefoot and Mismatched Socks

My kids have been in school now for two weeks. The first week of school came with a bit of grace from me. I remember as a kid the adjustment from lazy summer morning "routine" to up-and-at-'em-no-messing-around school morning routine. So, I offered more reminders than usual about how much time they had before we were leaving and let them run back into the house to grab their backpack after we had all already piled into the van to leave. For the first week I gave instruction on how to manage their time more effectively in the future. We had discussions on the way to school over what was slowing us down in the morning and what we could do to solve that. I offered extra help in the effort to get them back into a school-morning rhythm.

Overall, in two weeks my kids have done a great job getting back into a morning routine. Each morning I come downstairs around 8:00 to my kids on the couch watching their morning PBS programs and set them into motion with getting dressed, eating breakfast and gathering all their stuff for school. We've been able to leave by 8:40 almost every day with 8:45 being the latest. Getting two kids and a baby out the door in 40 minutes is something I'm very proud of. =)

I'd like to say that in addition to not being late for school (yet), our journey to school is relaxed and full of joy. We have had some of those journeys, even within the past two weeks. But most mornings we enter into the school drive with frustrations lingering. The biggest culprit has been shoes and socks.

Such simple things, shoes. Mine are always kept by the front door. I take them off and leave them there first thing when I walk into the house so they're there to put on as I get ready to leave.

Socks. I have a drawer just for those warm little feet huggers. Several pairs reside in those drawers so that I always have a pair to pull out in time of need.

It seems so simple. So easy. Which is why it drive me CRAZY that almost every morning there is this frantic dash around the house looking for clean socks and finding the partner to a lonely shoe.

I've taught the kids my system. Apparently they don't like it because they don't use it.

I've given them a "heads up" for how much time they have before we leave so if they need socks and shoes they'd have plenty of time to solve that problem before we head out the door. Apparently they think I'm just stating the time for my benefit and that somehow some household magic (that hasn't existed any other day at our house by the way) will magically place two clean socks and matched shoes on their feet as we walk out the door.

So, yesterday I told them that tomorrow I was not going to wait around for shoes and socks to be found. At 8:40 everyone was getting in the van for school whether they had the right clothing on their feet or not.

Today, at 8:30 I told the kids we were leaving in 10 minutes and to make sure they had all their stuff and their shoes and socks on. At 8:39, I put the baby in her car seat, turned off the TV, grabbed my keys and announced, "Everyone in the car! Time to go!" My two kids went scrambling for their shoes. Isabella couldn't find socks. Nate actually had his shoes and socks sitting beside him but he didn't have them on. I pulled out my "bummer" phrase to them and told them "It's not my problem. Get in the car." And I walked out of the house to the van.

Isabella grab the first two socks she could find (dirty and mismatched). Nate walked out barefoot with his shoes and socks in his hand.

You'd think the story ends here. Except Nate, in his ultimate wisdom, chose not to put his shoes and socks on in the car. Don't ask. I have no idea what his little brain was thinking. As we pulled up to school and got ready to get out, Nate began whining that he didn't have his shoes on yet.
"Bummer," I said. "Your bell's about to ring and you need to get inside. You're going to have to go in barefoot. Hopefully your teacher will let you put your shoes on in the classroom." Nate did not like that at all, complaining that his feet hurt and the grass was wet the whole way into the building. The best part of this story was that his teacher, after hearing from me why her cute blond-headed student didn't have his shoes on, picked right up where I left off and sat him in the back of the classroom to put his shoes on before he could sit down in circle time.

I love allowing my kids to learn through natural consequences especially when I have taught them ahead of time how to avoid the consequence. We can't make our kids do anything. And sometimes we have to allow them the opportunity to choose to learn a life lesson the natural way instead of our way. I've found that sometimes this is the most effective teacher.

So, hopefully tomorrow when I say, "We're leaving in 10 minutes, get your shoes and socks on," my children will take me a little more seriously. Because at 8:40, we're getting in the car whether they're ready or not. And maybe, just maybe, they will have two clean socks and a pair of shoes on their feet.