Homework Strategies Part 2

So you got your homework bin all set up, right? If not, read the previous post.

Here are some more tips that I do with my kids to make getting their homework done less of a battle each night.

First, it is not a requirement that they get their homework done as soon as they get home before they can do anything else. Yes, I know. That's a common rule among parents. Get it done and over with, right? But I know how I feel after a long day at work. The last thing I want to do when I get home is go right back to work-related tasks. School is like a day at work for kids. Just like me, kids need some decompression time. So, I give them about 30 - 45 minutes of play and snack time before getting them going on homework.

Once the "chill out" time is done, all homework and piano practice need to be completed before the TV comes back on or playtime starts again. On days when there are extra-curricular activities the same rule still applies. My kids are learning that the activities they've chosen may cause nighttime playtime to be limited. I say they're learning this because they still try protesting sometimes when a late soccer practice leads to late dinner which leads to getting homework completed right when it's time to start getting ready for bed meaning no TV or playtime that night. On days like this, my kids can always choose to shorten their down time after school and get going on their homework right away to allow for more playtime later. This is always a choice for them. I never require it except for the rare situation when I know there will not be time to do homework later if they don't get started right away.

When it's time to get going on homework, we pull out the homework bin, their assignments and we all get to work. That's right. I stay involved and do their homework with them. That's probably the biggest factor in our success. I don't do the work for them. I ask questions and have them "teach" me what they are supposed to do. And sometimes I have them do several problems or pieces of their work by themselves and then I check it over. But I view homework time as family time. I stay in the room with them (and my husband, too when he's here), helping them along until homework is completed.

I work with many parents who want their kids to get going on homework on their own so they can get back to doing whatever they were doing or disappear into the kitchen to make dinner. Many parents complain that the battles with their kids are usually over getting their kids to "go do" their homework and are frustrated that every time they walk back into the room, their kids aren't doing their work, are messing around, or playing. Parents are frustrated with the attention getting behaviors such as the melt downs, the "I can't do this", and the sibling battles, all behaviors designed to get you back into the room. By staying in the room and involved to begin with, many if not all of these behaviors get eliminated.

Here's why I encourage parents to do this even with their Jr. High and High School students. First, once school starts, the amount of time we get to see and interact with our kids greatly decreases. During the week, I see my kids about five hours total each day, and that's on the days that they don't have piano, soccer practice or swimming. And whether our kids admit it to us or not, they miss us during the day, too. Children desire attention from their parents. Yes, even those older kiddos. Since homework is inevitable and unavoidable, I first view homework as an opportunity to spend time with my kids. Being a great parent is not always convenient from my perspective. I agree that it is a pain to juggle getting dinner together or my baby cared for while helping my two older kids with their homework. But I try to figure out the multi-tasking because it is important for me to spend time with the kids I haven't seen all day however I can.

Second, and most obviously, by staying involved in their homework I am able to stay aware of what they are doing in school and how well they are doing academically. I can be a better support to my child's learning when I know the topics they're covering and the areas they need to keep practicing.

There have been a couple times so far that my kids have not completed their homework despite all I have tried to do to set them up for success (admittedly, we are only in our second year of doing homework. I know the incidences will most likely increase over the years to come). In these cases, they get sent to school without their homework done and must explain to their teacher why this happened. Literally, they have to explain to their teacher why they didn't do their homework. I follow up with the teacher to make sure it was done and support any natural consequences that come from the teacher for not having homework turned in.

By staying consistent with our homework routine and expectations, homework time goes smoothly. While my kids often don't enjoy having to do more schoolwork at home, they do enjoy the attention and time they get from me and my husband during this time.

This topic usually brings up lots of frustrations and questions. What questions do you have? What's working and not working for you? Let me know by commenting below and let's discuss possible solutions.

Homework Success Strategy Part 1

Last week I came home with a big plastic bin full of office supplies. But these weren't just any office supplies. They consisted of green scissors and a blue tape dispenser and glittery pencils. In my bag I had all the needed supplies for a homework bin.

Putting together a homework supply bin for my kids accomplishes several things:

1. Eliminates the extra time spent looking for a pencil, paper, scissors and any other item needed to complete that day's homework assignment


2. By providing fun supplies (see my examples below) it makes doing homework a bit more enjoyable. Think about it. Don't you enjoy writing so much more with a nice pen and special paper?


3. Helps set the tone for doing homework. Getting out their special supplies is like putting on your work clothes.


4. Sends a message to your kids that their school work is important enough in your home that it's worth spending time and money to ensure that they're set up for homework success.


5. Allows you to buy some of the fun school supplies you didn't buy for school because they weren't on the supply list (when did school supply lists get so boring?).

Here's what I included in our homework bin.

• glittery #2 pencils in various colors


• electric pencil sharpener


• colored stapler for stapling falling apart packets and multi-page assignments


• glue and glue sticks


• colored scissors


• cool tape dispenser for healing all the inevitable rips and tears


• neon bend-y ruler


• floppy flexible solar-powered calculator


• drawing paper


• lined paper

Then I bought one of those clear view plastic storage drawers to put it all in. The whole thing cost me about $50. You could easily spend less depending on what you already have in stock at home and what you feel they need in their bin. We already had plenty of crayons at home, so I chose not to buy more of these. I later added the crayons from home to the bin for homework use.

If possible, don't assume you can multi-use an item. For example, just because you have a pair of scissors in the kitchen drawer doesn't mean you don't need to buy a pair of scissors for the homework bin. Remember that one of the things we're trying to accomplish is the elimination of looking around the house for supplies. You also don't want to create a potential conflict with your child when they put those scissors in their homework bin instead of back in the kitchen drawer.

Keep all homework stuff in one place, household items in another. This also means, do not try to sneak into the homework bin when you're looking for some scissors and tape to wrap a present. Again, avoid the conflict that can occur when your kids need their materials for that special project and come to find out their scissors are missing and their tape is almost gone.

While I don't have my kids begging me to race home so they can get right to their homework, they are very excited about their materials and feel very special to have their own important bin of fun supplies just for doing homework. It has made doing homework a bit more enjoyable for them. I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually. But the many benefits of having the bin will still continue throughout the year.

Homework bins are a great way to make your family's homework experience successful. Next time I will share with you some other homework success strategies that have worked for us.

I Don't Know Everything

It's hard to admit that I don't always know what to do when it comes to my kids. It's frustrating. And humbling.

My daughter has been "stuck" with her reading for several months now. She began the school year as one of the top readers in her class. But while the rest of her classmates have made steady improvements, and have even passed her reading level, my sweet girl has barely shown any improvement in her reading ability.

For months I've watched her use all the right reading strategies. She makes predictions and uses visual cues in illustrations to help her create context for a difficult word. She reads with wonderful expression and always understands what she has read, stopping to laugh at the story's humor or to make a connection to something else the story is reminding her of. Overall, she is way advanced in the reading skills she knows and uses. And yet, when she picks up a book, she finds herself still needing to sound out sight words that in other context she knows. Recently, she spent almost five minutes trying to sound out the word "she". SHE?!? Really?

Last week I sat on the couch with her listening to her try to get through the book she brought home to read. The book was at a similar level from what she had at the beginning of the school year. What should have taken ten minutes to read ended up taking almost an hour. I watched her struggle through the simplest of words. I saw her grow more and more frustrated. I saw her eyes well up with tears.

I tried to pull out all my tricks as a parent. Stay calm. Stay encouraging. Coach her through the process but not do it for her. Definitely do not let her give up. Take a deep breath, you can do this. But it wasn't working.

So, I closed the book and tried to pull out all the things I know about reading from my years of teaching. Remind her of the reading rules she knows. Think of context. Did that make sense? Only sound out the letters you see. Where have you seen this word before? Let me model for you. Take a deep breath, you can do this. It still wasn't working.

So, I tried to pull out all the things I know about how kids think and learn. I tried to figure out what the brain block might be in her head. I asked her to explain to me what happens inside her when she sees these words. Do the words look different? Do the letters change before your eyes? What thoughts are you thinking? She doesn't know.

I am so frustrated. Isabella knows I am. Her eyes well up with tears and so do mine.

"Isabella, " I say as I pull her close to me. "I am not frustrated at you. You have done nothing wrong. I am so frustrated because I don't know how to help you. I know you are a good reader. I know you can do this. And I don't understand why you can't. And I'm frustrated for you because I know YOU know you can do this. But you're stuck. And I don't know why."

It was an awful awful feeling. I, Tara Wood, former elementary school teacher, masters in child development, and parenting educator, did not know what to do to help my child. It wasn't pride that made this frustrating. It was more a feeling of helplessness. That despite everything I've learned and everything I know, it wasn't enough. Then it hit me . I would never know everything I would possibly ever need to know to help my children in every possible scenario that will come up in their lifetime. And frankly, that realization sucks.

But I guess that's why we're not meant to raise our children alone, right? That's why they have teachers and friends and other individuals brought into their life that can fill in the gaps, because as parents we CAN'T do it all. We can't be everything to our children. And that's why we're meant to surround ourselves with a strong community. And that's why pride can be so damaging if we let it because not asking for help when we need it can be more damaging than the risk of letting others help. And that's why I'm a better mom for admitting I don't know all the answers instead of pretending that I do.

And so, I ask for help. Her wonderful teacher is working on some new ideas. Friends have talked to people they know who are "experts" in this kind of thing. Family have supported and encouraged me so that I can stay encouraging toward my daughter.

Already there have been suggestions made that have helped my daughter not get so stuck when she puts all those words she knows in the context of a story. I feel less frustrated and more optimistic, mostly because I'm not doing it alone.

And so ,we take a deep breath and we try again...because together we can do this.

What do you need to ask help with?