Now I'm sure for many of you your first reaction is ,"Of course". And I don't doubt you. But what about your family makes you thankful? To answer that question, most of us usually have to pause and really ponder the list.
I've asked families in the past to list for me ten things they are thankful for in regards to their family. Most people think this will be an easy assignment...until they get to number five or six. Coming up with a whole list of ten things makes us really have to stop and ponder. It's even harder if the assignment is changed to require ten things you're thankful for regarding each individual in your family.
Why? Because it is so easy to focus on what we're not content with in our family. My house isn't big enough. My daughter is exceptionally dramatic these days. When my son isn't being whiny, he's challenging the rules of the house. My husband is working too much these days. Coming up with a list of ten things I'm not thankful for is pretty easy.
But research shows that our attitude toward a person or a situation is largely influenced by our positive or negative energy put toward it. In fact, the chemicals released in the body when we're thinking negative thoughts are different than the ones released when we think positive. That's right. There is actually a physiological effect in our body that occurs depending on our attitude toward something. If our thoughts and attitudes can have physical effects on our bodies, it's no wonder that they can in turn effect how we treat the ones we love and the things that we have.
I was really struck by remembering this today. I looked around my house. It's a mess and I'm not very motivate to clean it up. But for the past year I have also been very discontent with my house. In fact, I have said out loud that I hate my house. And I think my negative attitude that I keep toward my house has translated into a half-hearted way of taking care of it. If I can see the effect of my attitude on my house, what would it look like if I had a negative attitude toward my husband? My kids?
And this is why I'm encouraging myself and you to purposely, intentionally, make a list of at least ten things that you are thankful for. I know that some of you may have a hard time even getting started. You're thankful for your family in theory, but family is stressful right now. Maybe your marriage is rocky or your kids seem challenging. But even if it takes you all day, try to come up with at least ten ways to be thankful for your family.
To show that I am really trying to practice what I preach, here are my lists. I'd love to see your lists, too if you are willing to share them. Put them in the comment section below or feel free to e-mail them to me at tara@xylemfamily.org.
Happy Thanksgiving!
My Husband:
1. I am thankful that my husband loves being a father and intentionally is a part of their lives.
2. I am thankful that my husband loves me and goes out of his way to show me that is true.
3. I am thankful that my husband truly believes we are a parenting team and is an equal participant in raising our kids.
4. I am thankful my husband loves to cook and is a fabulous cook and as a result my family gets awesome meals on a regular basis. I'm particularly thankful for this because I HATE cooking and am not very good at it.
5. I am thankful that my husband believes that me staying home to be available for our children is important and never has thought twice about the sacrifices we have had to make in order to make that happen.
6. I am thankful that my husband enjoys hanging out with me and actually has fun with me.
7. I am thankful that my husband and I have the same sense of humor. Without him, I don't know who I would laugh with.
8. I am thankful that my husband not only has a job but loves his job.
9. I am thankful that my husband works hard at his job and is ambitious about continuing to grow within his company so that our family can live even beyond comfortably.
10. I am thankful that my husband gets up in the middle of the night with our baby to bring her to me so that it's easier for me to go back to sleep and that he takes her away in the morning when he can so I can get few extra minutes of sleep.
All of my kids:
1. I am thankful that my kids are healthy.
2. I am thankful that my kids have not had significant harm physically, emotionally or spiritually.
3. I am thankful that my kids love to smile and laugh.
4. I am thankful that my kids love each other.
5. I am thankful that my kids enjoy being with other people.
6. I am thankful that people enjoy being with my kids.
7. I am thankful that my kids have sweet hearts that allow them to care for others.
8. I am thankful that my kids are bonded to me and my husband in a healthy way.
9. I am thankful that each one of my kids add something unique to our family.
10. I am thankful that my kids love me as much as I love them.
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