Christmas is About Giving

One of the questions I get a lot around the holidays is how to help children realize that Christmas is not just about toys. Many parents get really frustrated with the consumerism mentality of Christmas. I don’t think there is one answer to this question. But I thought I’d share some of the things we do in our family around this issue.

To begin with, I don’t think it’s the presents that are the problem at Christmas. In fact, the gifts are an important part of the symbolism of what Christmas is really about. However, it’s also important to me that my kids don’t see Christmas as one big Gift Getting day. As a result, we’ve tried to be very intentional about helping the kids understand that while receiving gifts is a lot of fun, Christmas is actually about the GIVING of gifts.

Here are some of the things we do to encourage a different mindset about Christmas presents:

1. We teach our kids that we give gifts to others to show our love for them. We do this in response to the gift of love that God gave to us when he gave us his son. We talk about this several times leading up to Christmas including having the kids remind us all about this before we open any presents on Christmas morning.

2. We encourage the kids to make a list of the people in their lives that they want to show love to this Christmas. We ask them to think about each person and what that person might really like to receive for Christmas. Having the kids think about each person and what they could do or give to them to show them love encourages our kids to keep the focus on others. My kids actually LOVE this process.

3. My children are always involved in picking out the gift that will be from them. Yes, it is way easier to go shopping on my own and just write their name on the tag of the gift I bought (whispering in their ear what the item is before the gift is opened so they know what it is). But doing it this way only reinforces that it’s just about getting a gift and not the thought behind it.

4. Instead of lots of gifts to our kids, we give a few thoughtful gifts (one gift from Santa and two gifts from us). My kids are not deprived of gifts by any means. Between siblings, grandparents, aunts, and friends my kids get more than enough presents at Christmas.

5. Gift tags don’t just say, “To:” and “From:”. We also include something on there about how much we love them and what they mean to us. We encourage our kids to do the same on their tags.

6. Instead of just adding to the piles of toys in their room each Christmas, we encourage our kids to give away older toys before Christmas. We offer one dollar for every toy they give away. The money received is used to help them buy gifts for their friends, siblings or cousins. More importantly, it provides an opportunity to talk about those less fortunate than us and the things that we can do (like donating) to help those in need.

7. We try to provide other ways for the kids to make some money so that they really feel like the gift is from them (not to mention the other life skills they learn from this process). Our kids are still young enough that we will help supplement the cost of a gift if needed.

8. We realized a few years ago that we spent all of December talking about the meaning of Christmas, celebrating Advent, reminding the kids about why we buy gifts for others, etc. and then Christmas morning came and the focus was all on opening gifts and eating food. So, we moved the reading of the Christmas story from the Bible to Christmas morning before gifts were opened as a lead in to why we were about to share gifts with one another. I have liked this new tradition in my family. I would like to think of some other things we can do Christmas Day as well that keeps the day Christ-focused as well.

These are just some of the things we do to help teach our kids that Christmas is not just about all the presents you get. I am very proud of my children that they seem to understand this. I love watching them be just as excited about the gifts they plan to give as they are thinking about what they might get from others this year. And I love that I don’t have children left with a feeling of entitlement over the holidays. It is so much fun to celebrate Christmas with my kids, giving them gifts because I love them, not because I have to, and receiving gifts from them that they have put thought into and are excited to give. It has proven to me that it is definitely possible to celebrate Christmas with children and it not just be all about the presents and consumerism.

I KNOW that you out there have some great ideas and traditions that you do that help your children with this same issue. Please share them. I am always looking for more ideas for my family and to share with others!