Children Who Serve

One of the qualities I hope my children have is a love and compassion for other people. In fact, if I had to pick one characteristic above all others that I desire for my kids, it would be this one.

There are many things I try to intentionally do with my kids to help teach them the importance of caring and loving others. Service is one of these things.

Serving others is a very practical way of teaching kids how to love others. It takes them beyond the philosophical and abstract discussions of "we need to love and care for others" and goes to the concrete of "here's how you do it". Further, studies show that children who are involved in service are more likely to be involved in serving opportunities when they become adults.

Summer is a great time of year to look into service opportunities to do with your kids. There are community gardens and neighborhood clean up opportunities that are family friendly. Even preschoolers can pick weeds and pick up trash. Check out Idealist.org for a list of family volunteer opportunities in your area or check in with you local church for projects to get involved in. Personally, my kids are excited to participate in the ten thousand nets campaign this summer. They have set a goal of buying five nets. As a family we have been planning together ways to help them achieve their goal this summer.

But teaching your kids how to serve others involves more than just participating in a community service project once or twice a year. Serving others needs to be an expectation in their daily lives. Therefore, encourage your kids to assist you with chores around the house without them expecting to get something in return. Ask them to help their sibling put away the toys even though they didn't help make the mess. Create an expectation in your home that serving one another in your family is just as important as serving people outside of the family.

One more thing. It's easy as a parent to feel like your whole parenting life is about service. Still, serving others is often about going beyond what is expected of us. As parents, it's important to lead the way in serving others and this means our children and spouse. Modeling this can be in the simple things like offering to take over one of your kid's chores "just because" or helping them finish a job so they can get to their birthday party on time. It's pointing out how Dad served the kids today by getting up early to make them their favorite breakfast or how Mom did the dishes for Dad because he wasn't feeling well. It's OK to point out to your kids the specific examples of service you and your spouse do for each other and for your kids. This helps your kids learn what service looks like and how they can do it for others as well.

If serving each other in your family is something that has not been a high priority in your family, here's some ideas for introducing the concept or increasing the awareness in fun and easy ways.

1. Secret Servant - Each family member draws the name of another. They will be the secret servant of the name they drew. Before hand, discuss with your kids ways they could serve each family member should they draw their name. If you have children under five, try doing this for one day. Consider having a family Secret Servant day once a week, Sundays for example. Draw the names at breakfast and reveal who everyone served that day at dinner. Decide as a family if you'd like to do a longer stretch of time if you have older children.


2. Honored Family Member - Each week choose a family member that the rest of the family is going to focus on serving for the week. Once the honored member is chosen, discuss ways that person could be served throughout the week and divide tasks among each other.
   
3. The Giving Tree - Read the book "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein. Create or buy a small "giving tree" to place on your table. During dinner, have a time where each member can say how they felt served by another family member. Using pieces of string, tie a bow on the tree for each act of service recognized. Enjoy watching your tree get filled up with the representations of your family's acts of service.

Making serving others, including serving each other in your family, a priority will help your child learn practical ways of caring for and loving someone else. Laying this foundation early in life will help increase the odds that he will be someone who actively cares for others as an adult. You will probably also discover that your family becomes transformed as you actively love and care for each other more intentionally.

Please share with us the ways your family serves in your community as well as each other. More ideas are always helpful!