Connecting With Your Kids During the Week

I recently had a conversation with a working mom who shared with me her struggle to connect positively with her kids during the week. In the midst of getting up early, rushing to get dressed and out the door, late afternoon pick up from daycare, making dinner and getting ready for bed, there seemed to be little time to just enjoy her kids. Each day she just needed to make it through the daily routines until they could get to the weekend. Then she felt she had to make the most of the weekend to make up for what was missing during the week.

Many working parents can relate to this feeling. Truth is, many stay-at-home parents can relate to this feeling, especially those of us with kids in school. But it is not fair to our kids to only get us emotionally two days a week. It’s not fair to us, either. We need to regularly bond with our kids as much as they need to bond with us.

When we miss out on connecting with our kids during the week, we feel the consequences. Our kids begin to feel like a burden, a hassle, an added stress. We end up looking back on our week and feel like parenting is hard work. We feel guilty that we’re too busy for our kids and tell ourselves, “we’re a terrible parent”.

So, I’d like to share some things we do in our home to enjoy and connect with our kids throughout the week that fit into the daily routine.

Picnic on the floor Who says dinner always has to be at the dinner table? Sometimes, we lay down a blanket, bring out the paper plates (yea! no dishes to wash!) and eat dinner on the floor. We will often do this in front of the TV so we can watch a movie during dinner. My kids LOVE this!

Cooking with Kids Instead of setting our kids up to play or watch a video while we rush in the kitchen to make dinner, we let our kids help us make dinner. Even a two-year-old can wash the vegetables or press start on the microwave to defrost the chicken. For us, we have found that this is a great way to get our kids excited about cooking and food (my daughter’s dream is to one day be on the food network). Yes, it may mean going a little slower. But it’s not by much. If there isn’t really anything the kids can do, we sit them up on the counter to have them watch us so we can talk to them while we cook. We sing with them and talk to them about their day. All while getting dinner done.

Car Sing-a-Long Many parents play kids CD’s in their car to keep their kids entertained. In our car, I sing along with my kids. It’s a way to enter into their world and have fun with them. It does mean we’ve had to pick out CD’s that I can stomach. I cannot handle the cheesy kids songs that are out there. Our family enjoys the Curious George soundtrack. I get my Jack Johnson and they get fun kid songs. But my experience is that kids enjoy any music. It doesn’t have to have a kid sticker on it. My kids also enjoy listening to my radio station and my CD’s. They’re familiar with the songs and we all enjoy singing along together. Forcing myself to sing along with my kids has turned around many a grouchy morning for me.

Do Your Homework WITH Your Kids Read all about this one in my post a few weeks ago, Homework Strategies Part 2.

Here Comes the Clothes Monster When my kids were littler, instead of battling them over getting their jammies on or their socks and shoes on, I turned it into a game and had fun. Oh No! Here comes the Jammie Monster. I’m coming to get you! Here I come! And I grab you and tickle you and pull off your shirt and tickle you while I put on your jammie top. You cannot escape me. I get you I get you I get you!….Now imagine with me the squeals of laughter I got with this approach vs the yelling and frustration I experienced doing it the boring way. A great bonding moment that takes five minutes AND the clothes get on.

Now that my kids are older, we still do games around getting ready. I’ll say, “I bet I can get my jammies on before you” and I race my kids over who can get dressed first. Or we’ll blast a fun song on the iPod for us to jam to while we get ready.

Love Notes put love notes in my kids’ lunches every time. I’ve been doing this since preschool (they would have their teachers read the short note to them). These notes mean a lot to my kids. Sometimes I pick my daughter up from school and she has taped the note from her lunch onto her shirt and my son will have his in his pocket. Writing the note makes me pause a moment to think about how I’d like to connect with each child later in their day even though I’m not with them. Love notes can also be hidden in their coat pockets, their books, or any other item where they can discover it later.

These are just some of the things I do with my kids throughout the week. The point is, I am intentional about it. I know my time is limited with them during the week, so I have to take what we have and find ways to use our routine to connect with each other. As a result, I find I enjoy my kids more during the week. I’m not so tired at the end of the day. I look forward to being with them. And I don’t feel guilty that I’m not giving my kids enough attention or the need to compensate on the weekend for what was lacking during the week.

I’d love to hear what you do or what you are going to try to do throughout the week to stay connected with your kids beyond the daily routine. We can all use more ideas.