My Soccer Mom Rules

I've got the mini van (gasp!). I've now got BOTH my kids in soccer. My husband is coaching my son's team. This past Saturday, my kids had their games at the same time at different locations. So, I went to my daughter's game and sent text updates to my husband who was with my son. Oh my gosh! I am such a soccer mom!!!!!!

But not just any soccer mom. I'm one of those who actually gets REALLY into the game...even though it's just 4 and 6-year-olds playing. I blame my husband for this. He's been coaching kids' soccer forever and I used to go to every single one of his games up until he quit for a while shortly after Isabella was born. As a result, I'm pretty loud on the sideline. I'm sure I drive the coach crazy with my yells of "Push Up!" (meaning move down the field and not give the other team so much room) and "GO GO GO...SHOOT IT!!!!"

One thing I DON'T want to be is one of those obnoxious soccer parents where winning is everything. I don't want to become so involved that I become rude or inappropriate in the things I yell to our team, the other, team, or the ref. I definitely don't want to forget that I'm there for my children, not for my entertainment, which means my children's feelings come first. And while I want to encourage them to always do their best and find ways they can get better, I don't ever want to come down hard on my kids for NOT playing their best. And I don't want to put so much pressure on them to be a great player that they're more worried about THAT than having a good time playing a fun game.

Over the many years of attending kids' soccer games, I've seen so many moms and dads who go CRAZY at their kid's games...The things they yell... The pressure they put on their kids... The dirty fouling they encourage their kids to do on the field... And the POOR example of good sportsmanship displayed. Really people? You're missing the whole point of what putting your child in sports is all about! I don't want to miss the point either. So, I made a list of rules for myself to follow at every game.

Rule 1: Think of my time on the sidelines as another opportunity to teach my kids important life lessons. While it's OK to cheer the loudest for my own child, I need to make sure I know every other child's name on the team so that when they have the ball or are set up to make a great play, I'm cheering for them, too. This will help model for my kids that this is a team sport and we encourage ALL of our teammates.

Rule 2: When my kids are off the field, I can quickly praise and encourage them for what they've been doing on the field, but then I must shuttle them over to be by their coach so they're ready to take instruction from him (or her). The coach is in charge during the game, not me.

Rule 3: I will not question a ruling on the field even if I totally know they are absolutely blind and question whether they are even watching the same game as the rest of us. I need to model that we respect those who are in authority, even when we disagree. And that even adults can make mistakes.

Rule 4: I will not tolerate any taunting behavior from my kids toward the other team. No cheers of "We're winning 5 to 3" over and over on the field or comments of "We're totally dominating this team" loud enough so the other team can hear it (both examples, unfortunately have come directly from one of my children). While we can celebrate our success as a team, we are not there to make the other team feel bad. That's bad sportsmanship. And we congratulate the other team if they win, and tell them "good game" if we do.

Rule 5: If I expect respectful behavior from my kids toward their coach, the ref, and the other team, I need to expect that same behavior from myself. Any disagreements or questions I have will be done respectively and privately, if they need to be done at all. And I will never talk poorly of any of the above in front of my child.

Rule 6: My kids can make mistakes and don't have to be the best player on the field. I will show my kids through my words and mannerisms that it's not a big deal when they're not perfect and to Play On!

Rule 7: I will remember that my kids are doing soccer to develop a love for the game, to develop skills related to working on a team, for the physical and emotional benefits sports can provide and ultimately to have fun!

These rules became harder to follow as the team my husband used to coach got older and more competitive and they weren't even my kids! So, I can only imagine how much more difficult they will be to follow as MY kids get older. But I, Tara Wood, on this 13th day of April 2009, pledge to follow these rules through the duration of my children's sports career. Will you join me in this pledge?

Whether my kids stay in soccer throughout their childhood or eventually move on to other sports, my hope is that my role as Soccer Mom just becomes another opportunity to teach great skills and behaviors to my kids and never contradicts anything that I value and teach in my family. This is MY responsibility to make sure that is the case.

What "rules" or guidelines have you set up for yourself to follow if your kids are in organized sports? What rules would you add to the list? Leave a comment below and let me know!